As I write this, I’m not ashamed to say that I have struggled to find a good community for myself. As a black man who enjoys theatre, it was always hard to find a community in which I felt I belonged. My general interests and my racial background always felt at odds with one another. This, of course, was during a time when I did not think about the most crucial factor: who I was in Christ.
I still enjoy theatre and wrestling. I’m still black. But when I developed a relationship with Christ, I also adopted a new identity. Consider, if you will, these verses and what they are saying about identity:
“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)
“Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” – John 1:12 (NIV)
I am now God’s, and that means my decisions moving forward must be based on the new life He’s given me. That means giving up things that are not good for me: interests, habits, and even friends.
For me, the latter was the hardest thing to give up. I had some awesome friends in my life, but when I recommitted to my walk with Jesus, I realized that I couldn’t take everyone with me. The things I valued had changed as well as how I wanted to carry myself moving forward. I wanted to honor God and the mercy He had shown me, but to do that I had to commit fully to Him.
Now, in my circumstances, it was easy to give up my friend group as my sin forced me to lose them. I was put in a position where I needed to seek new friends and the ones I found myself seeking were Godly ones on a similar path as me. However, for you, it may prove difficult. Some of the people in your circle may have been around for years. Some may even be members of your family. Some of them may not see as anything more than your old self. But, I want to encourage you to pursue friends who will walk with you on this new journey.
Check out these verses about bad friends:
- “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.'” -1 Corinthians 15:33
- “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” – Proverbs 22:24-25
- “A violent person entices their neighbor and leads them down a path that is not good.” – Proverbs 16:29
In contrast, look what scripture says about good friends:
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“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17
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“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” – Hebrews 10:24-25
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“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Ask yourself these questions today:
- Have I surrounded myself with Godly or worldly people?
- Am I ashamed to speak about my faith around my friends? Or do I fear talking about my faith may start an argument?
- Am I allowing myself to be negatively influenced by my peers and am I being a negative influence on them?
If you find yourself being convicted, I encourage you to pray:
Lord, I thank you for giving me a new identity in your son, Jesus. Help surround me with friends who will point me towards your way and not the way of the world. Remove from my life those who may lead me astray. In Jesus’s name, I pray, AMEN!
Remember: no community is perfect, even in Christian circles, but when times are tough, God will at times use your circle to bring you back to Him. We see a powerful example of this in Acts 12:5-17, when Peter was imprisoned and the early church gathered to pray for him. God answered their prayers by miraculously freeing Peter, showing how He often works through Christian community to bring us back to Him.